Failure, psh. There’s no such thing.

Published May 24, 2008

Photo: Ghost of Lower Bay Station. This station is not used anymore and is only open for movie shoots. Canon EOS 5D, 17-40@17, ISO100, f/5.6

Most of us in one point of our lives can say we’ve failed miserably at something – perhaps to the point of scaring us into never trying it again. But are you the type of person to fail at something, and be determined to never fail at it again, or are you the type of person to accept failure as a limitation of your abilities?

Penelope Trunk at Brazen Careerist (who always has great advice about work life and careers) gives us 5 tips on failure and how we should work it to our advantage. The best line from the article Penelope says:

“Failure is subjective. You can frame failure as career killing, but you gain nothing from this outlook. A better decision is to frame failure as a learning opportunity.”… “Most of us, in fact, are better people from our failures, but if you don’t frame it that way to yourself, you lose the opportunity to consciously put the learning to use.”

I’ve have spent a reasonable length of time in the workforce now. Something I noticed is that we are all pressured to succeed and that often breeds friendships around people who work together because they go through the same shit everyday. At the same time, I can see an unspoken nature in that people don’t like to be associated with failure or people who fail.

It’s unfortunate that certain people don’t embrace failure or are scared to fail. Risk is not without its rewards and I can think of many opportunities that would’ve been passed up had I not taken the chance to step outside my comfort zone and take a chance. Thinking back on the decisions which I have passed up, I can only image what would have been different if I had taken the chance to fail. Many successful people embrace failure. This goes not just for a career, but for business, social aspects of life, dating and relationships.

I remember during my last career change, I was told, that I would have a hard time succeeding if I changed careers. I was told my decision to move was a career limiting move that would hinder me in the future and that I should be scared to try something different because if I did, I would probably fail.

Now, I’m always up for a challenge and my decisions in life are often made out of a chance to show to myself that I can prove wrong all the disbelievers. It’s a particular quality of mine (see temper) to have someone tell me I can’t do something. If someone tells me I can’t do something, the first thing that comes to mind is “Who the hell are you to tell me what I can’t do”. And the second thing I think is “Watch me do it better than you could ever dream of doing it”. This attitude has bit me in the ass (broken ribs and bruises come to mind) but I honest to God believe that this attitude has also taught me a lot about failure and accepting it. I don’t always succeed the first time I try. I take risks, fall, drop dead bottom until it seems there is no way further down to go, but the difference is when I get to that bottom, there really is nowhere else to go but up. And when I’m coming back up you can bet I’m going to get it done right.

Failure, is a drug. It’s a means to get you to where you want to be. For me, to fail is to understand that it was only part of a process to kicking ass. I learn, adapt and grow from it only to become a better individual. We should embrace failure in all aspects of our life and learn to understand how it affects each part of us. For me, failing in my career is not a concern – I’m not scared of it. And as a result I have been able to move forward at blazing speed with a little luck, hard effort and the good will to embrace what I’ve learned in past mistakes to make the my own career path better match my own expectations in life.

I’ve learned that failing at relationships is the same thing. People will break up, get divorced and get in trouble, but its how we all bounce back that defines us. People have said things to me in my relationships in an effort to define me or judge my integrity. But I’ve adapted, learned to be better and I just don’t care about failed relationships anymore. Not from the sense that I don’t want one, but I’m not scared to fail because I understand that failing, is a process. And although its a process… there is no process if you don’t try… if you don’t fail. In relationships if there’s no interest, you move on because you can bet your house that there is someone out there who will be right for you, but similar to your career, life, everything… you have to be willing to fail.

Take a chance, try it. You’ll never believe where you’ll end up.