Our desires, our dreams

Published May 11, 2011

Tiger Leaping Gorge.  Yunnan province, China. Sony NEX3. 18-55mm @ ISO400

I’ve been fighting a battle with an enemy that I have yet to identify.  Each day brings a new twist to the latest drama called my life at 29, and though the excitement of daily change never bores me, it drains on my conscious being, wondering each day if some invisible wall will drop, suddenly and swiftly to provide me an element of calm.  I need calm.  Is this what ADD feels like?  My mind switches constantly, bam. bam. bam.  I feel like I’m watching an iPhoto slideshow, you know the ones at the Apple store, with the perfect smiles, perfect people with perfect supersaturated colors?  Except the photos are of my own life, and each photo shows me a gorgeous, desirable moment that I have yet to experience.  I want them all, but I can’t have everything and before I can decide… swish, with the beauty of cross-fade and a modern 3D transitions… the next photo appears and only to make me go through the same thought process all over again.

I know what I want in life, but I can’t figure out which road to take.  I feel like a kid at a candy store knowing fully how tasty that sugary goodness will caress in my tongue, but having only $2, the heart wrenching choice of one over another must be made.  We all know that we should follow our heart, but so often our hearts ask us to put our heels against the edge of a cliff, hanging off everything we know as secure, stable, steady… and take that next step forward.  I should just take it, shouldn’t I?